


Without you here tonight

by J_Ace_Derpy



Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, One Shot, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:15:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29627574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Ace_Derpy/pseuds/J_Ace_Derpy
Summary: I would’ve walked through hellto find another wayI would’ve layed me downif I knew that you would stayI would’ve crossed the starsto keep you in my lifebut now I'm falling hardwithout you here tonight
Relationships: Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Kudos: 1





	Without you here tonight

**Author's Note:**

> This is kind of an old one shot inspired by a friend tiktok cosplay video that legit make me cry so I made this out of spite he...hope you enjoy it

**I would’ve walked through hell**  
**to find another way**

Even if it has been years since that terrible day, Emile couldn't forget nor forgive himself. Even while studying to become a therapist and trying to deal with his issued there were just some things from the past that you can never get over it, some ghost never really leave.

He would never be able to forget his dear Remy, his best friend, his lover, and soulmate of years and years, until the day, without him being able to help or stop him, he decided to end it all, no goodbye, just one word written behind a photo of them together on their first date, saying "sorry".

**I would’ve layed me down**  
**if I knew that you would stay**

A part of Emile blame himself for what happened, even though his friends, family, and colleagues told him otherwise, the guilt wouldn't leave him alone, even years prior Emil love hearing other people problems and when he had enough we always went to Remy to have someone who would hear him, even said some encouraging things, but after his death, he starts to wonder to himself "did I even listened to him?"

"Maybe his death was my fault" his brain would repeat over and over again "who knows how many times he needed to let things out but didn't want to bother me, or that maybe he thought i wouldn't understand" the pain and grieve would yell late at night "if I have only been there for him, he would be here today"

**I would’ve crossed the stars**  
**to keep you in my life**

The worst part of everything was that he remembers, that the night before his suicide, he received a call from him, he wasn't okay, it was 2 am and he was more asleep than awake, he tries to calm him and told him they could talk in the morning, to go back to bed and that everything would be okay.

He didn't know how wrong he was. He didn't know that would be the last time they would ever talk, cause if he had known he wouldn't have told him that, he would have stayed with him, even run to his house and told him how much he loved him, let him cry in his shoulder, and they would be still together.

But that wasn't what happened.

**but now I'm falling hard**  
**without you here tonight**

Another anniversary of his death passes by, and like every year, he didn't work, he wears what Remy always told him to make him look great, visited the coffee shop where they had their first date, then the park where they had their first kiss, bought a bouquet of Remy´s favorite flowers and visited the cemetery. Walking pass other gravestones till he got to Remy´s

"I'm so sorry Remy... I know I say this every year but...i truly wish you were still here with me" he attempts to say without his voice cracking, and yet like every year, he failed.


End file.
